Background Everyone has the right to sex and relationships. In the past people with learning disabilities were denied these rights and continue to be dissatisfied with this area of their life. The way care staff talk about this topic impacts the people they support and their experience of sex and relationships. This study explored how care staff spoke about sexuality for people with learning disabilities. Methods Three care teams attended three focus groups to discuss sex and relationships for the people they support. Each group had three members of care staff and one facilitator. The data was discursively analysed. Findings Care staff spoke about people with learning disabilities in a way that constructed them as sexually naïve or knowledgeable. They also spoke about safety which constructed sex and relationships for people with learning disabilities as risky. These ways of talking justified the type of support they described giving. Conclusions Care staff used dominant discourses about sexual understanding and risk to talk about sexuality for people with learning disabilities, with normalising discourse being less common. Recognising how difficult it is to talk about this topic is important for care staff and those they support. This has implications for training and reflective sessions for care staff to better support this aspect of people’s lives.